Twenty-one years ago, I participated in a Get Clarity retreat as a client. Didn’t know it at the time but I was saving my marriage to Cathy before I even asked her.
Cathy and I fell in love very quickly and knew we wanted to be together. Then Cathy said, “I have a rule. If we are going to be together, you have to take my retreat.” As I pondered this interesting sales technique, she explained, “I don’t want anyone in my inner circle that isn’t consciously responsible and accountable for managing his own thoughts and behaviors.”
I went along because I’m no dummy, and I loved her. Plus, I wanted to learn what she knew, and I had promised myself to do this relationship differently from others in my past.
What I learned and have lovingly practiced for the past 21 years:
I’m responsible for my own lights-on energy and personal happiness.
I’m responsible for maintaining space for Cathy’s energy and happiness to develop.
I’m responsible for being kind rather than having to be right.
I’m responsible for appreciating her talents rather than being jealous of them.
I’m responsible for being grateful for what we have together, rather than wanting everything to be exactly my way.
I’m responsible for belonging fully to our partnership rather than isolating myself.
I’m responsible for co-creating our life in a way that serves each of us individually and our togetherness.
I’m responsible for appreciating everything in our partnership rather than blaming her for anything that hasn’t yet appeared.
I’m responsible for monitoring and sustaining my own thoughts, actions, and behaviors so they support our success together — every day.
I’m responsible for being playful and curious in our relationship, rather than doubting and romanticizing about something different.
I’m responsible for supporting the synergy of our mutual gifts rather than giving in to my ego’s needs of the moment.
I’m responsible for respecting our differences rather than viewing them through a lens of inequality.
That’s how one smart yes turned into 21 years and counting of being a good partner to another good partner.
What do you need to say yes to in order to participate in your own powerful partnership?
Consciously save your life and relationships every day
Time for a Clarity refresher?
Have a free 30-minute Discovery call with Cathy.
Email her at cathyhawk@getclarity.com to find a scheduled time that works for both of us.
