Hi, I’m Gary Hawk. I’m drama-averse. A recent high drama experience deepened my averseness. It also reminded me again of what happens if you live a few days shooting adrenaline directly into your veins. Not with a syringe; just with my thoughts – same effect.
Being drama-averse, Cathy and I both are very intentional about not bringing drama into our home or our work. So, it’s a very odd moment in our lives when it happens. (Usually it’s when I talk to phone company customer service.
However, something happened close to us (in our near field) that had me feeling extreme anger, resentment and some sadness. It caused a big spike in my adrenaline that had me feeling physically ill for a couple of days. I carried all those feelings around with me for a few days, creating an on-going drip,drip,drip of adrenaline.
I still needed to meet with clients, do a Clarity retreat, and keep doing my work. Fortunately, my parents taught me to be kind and polite. This, in no small way, helped me be conscious of my energy with clients, friends, and family. Practicing my Clarity rituals and tools also helped, but I still couldn’t fully let go of the highly charged emotions and thoughts.
As I reviewed everything, I congratulated myself on holding my own energy field (mostly) during that adrenaline-pushing event. I patted my back for not feeding the drama with my own negative words (again mostly). I celebrated my listening to Cathy’s advice and removing myself from the situation.
I also realized that while I did not start the drama, I did contribute some to heightening it. Even though my words were calm (mostly), my thoughts and the energy I was sending out was filled with judgment, criticism and resentment. It was these thoughts that helped heighten the drama. And, it was holding these thoughts in my own mind that contributed to the following days of dripping adrenaline.
It has always helped me to write down my intentions and visions in detail. (Some of you are aware of how I found Cathy.) The same philosophy applies to writing down what I want to be rid of; the stored thoughts that drain my energy. That’s what I did. Boy, I poured out some colorful stuff. It helped considerably. Then I filtered it all through kindness, intention and above-the-line thoughts. Result – More effective conversations happened without the drama; resulting in the return to the drama-free Hawk life. My daily intake of thought producing endorphins returned to normal levels.
I guess the point of my story, other than processing my own stuff, is that when unwanted drama pops up in your life, effective antidotes to adrenaline overdose include: kindness, intentional self awareness, clarity of thought and word and releasing judgment.
In the future, if I want a shot of adrenaline, I would rather do it with this. Then I can spend several days getting high on my internal endorphins just by reliving a lights-on experience.
Isn’t awareness an amazing thing! Once upon a time in my life, I would seek drama as a way of feeling alive. With awareness (and some great Clarity tools:))heightened drama that now appears in my near field is met with a curious observer rather than a willing participant. While I cannot say I have mastered these moments in their entirety, the simple ability to recognize the moments when they emerge and refocus my intentional thoughts has made all of the difference. You mentioned struggling to maintain positive thoughts in the face of heightened drama so I challenge you next time to think curious observer and see if it impacts that adrenaline rush you experienced.
Curious observer – good idea.
Thanks. I’ll practice this whenever the curtain goes up on a drama.
That’s a good way to remember – when the curtain goes up.