“If we win the lottery, I’m outta here?” I said to Cathy recently. She asked me what I would do, and I replied that I would spend a few years on the beach. As an insightful, understanding, and astute observer, Cathy replied that I would be bored in a week. Of course, she’s right.
I’ve had that escapist thought before, and every time I’ve sat down to list what I would really do if I had a huge influx of “I’m outta here” money, it always turns out to look a lot like what I do every day now — just with more money, more time, and a newer, faster car. Over the years, we’ve had many people attend our retreats seeking to change their lives, their work, or their marriages. Typical comments include: I’m bored; My work no longer has relevance or interest for me; I just have this feeling that there is something else I’m supposed to be doing; My relationship no longer enlivens me.
My work is an anchor keeping me from my dream
Our friend, Frank, is an example. For years, he has felt an underlying sense of dissatisfaction that he was not pursuing the work he really wanted to do. Frank is a highly successful professional and a seeker of spiritual truth and adventure. He’s always had the sense that he could make a huge difference in the world as a writer, speaker, and spiritual guide. However, he believes his professional practice and family obligations have prevented him from pursuing his big dream. He believed his work was an anchor preventing him from following his big dream
Certainly, some people who want to change careers or relationships find they are more energized and enlivened by making major changes in their lives. By paying attention to what lights them up and taking action in that direction, they redesign every aspect of their life to create what they want, leaving the old life, the old profession, the energy draining relationships behind.
Maybe it’s just the way you look at your life
On the other hand, major life changes can often occur simply by changing how you view your current life. When Frank began to examine all aspects of his personal and professional life by consciously paying attention to what energized and drained him, he recognized that he loved many aspects of his current work.
He also identified activities that drained his energy daily and either stopped doing them or delegated them to others. This gave him time and energy to focus on his writing and spiritual work. This led to an epiphany: “My practice is actually the foundation I can build from, not the anchor that holds me back.”
If you are feeling a sense of dissatisfaction with your life and all of your thoughts are focused on what’s wrong here, that’s all you will see. This negative thinking feeds on itself, and it prevents you from seeing joy in anything you do. Your life and your work are not the anchor; it’s your thinking and negative focus that’s keeping you stuck. If you consciously take a lights-on inventory of your daily life and focus your energy and thoughts on the pieces that enliven you, it opens the door to possibilities and more creative strategies to develop your ideal life. Then you can make a valid decision about whether your current situation is an anchor holding you back or a foundation to build on.
Make sure you know the difference between an anchor and foundation,
Gary
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