I’ve wanted a pair of simple, light weight, cotton gloves for several years. Since I hate to shop, I’ve relied on my family giving me gloves for Christmas. Unfortunately, these thoughtful gifts did not answer my desire. So I finally went shopping last week to buy the gloves I really wanted. I found two that were close to what I envisioned so I purchased the cheaper pair. By the time I arrived home I realized that I HAD BOUGHT THE WRONG PAIR.
This $8.00 expenditure triggered my serious affliction of second guessing my decisions. I am very prone to wondering if I made the right decision on many things in my life – big or small.
Second Guessing Affliction (SGA) can have a tremendous impact on living a fully joyful life. It can be challenging for me to enjoy this moment because there is quite likely some decision I’ve made that I doubt. My focus is on what’s wrong with my world than on all that is right with my world.
Fortunately, I realized that I was doing it again (actually when Cathy said something about my being a professional second guesser). It gave me an opportunity to use the experience to take a second look at my second guessing.
My desire for new gloves and how to acquire them has been below-the-line from the beginning. Shopping turns my lights off. My vision of a perfect shopping experience is to walk in the store and see on the front counter a big sign that says: Gary, Here it is! Just what you want!
As a result, before I leave the house, I set up an energetically negative shopping experience. This then drives me to only look at one store, one display, one or two selections. Then, as in this case, I can feel scarcity rather than abundance. I want to be conservative with the money I spend so I compromised. To save $5.00 I selected the cheaper pair (not the pair that fit me best), which is in the end was actually a waste of $5.00.
Now that I’ve shared this silly representation of my SGA, I have to, as an example, return to the world of shopping with a different approach. First, I am emptying the glove drawer of all of the ill-fitting love gifts to create energetic space for just the right pair to arrive. I will plan an ideal shopping experience to include store visits that do light me up – Apple, Cinnabon, Barnes & Noble. This will help me keep my thoughts lights-on so I remain effectively positive as I compare all the options without compromising. I am setting my intention that I will leave with the best pair of cotton gloves that I have ever put on my hands.
Many of the decisions we make in life will not turn out as we envisioned. We cannot control the outcome as much as we might desire. What we do have control over is to approach every decision we make with our thoughts and actions being positive, effective and energizing.
Doubting my Doubt, Not My Dream
If you find this helpful, interesting, enlightening, then please pass it on. And, your feedback is always welcome.
Gary, Excellent post! I am a serial shopper, so if you ever need some guidance on creating “above the line” shopping experiences, let me know.
Enjoy your new gloves!
If you are a serial shopper, you are likely always above-the-line. The best approach I’ve found is to find the one piece of clothing that fits perfectly, buy 10 in different colors, and hope they last 20 years.
Gary, you are such a GUY about shopping!
Here is a great book that talks about second guessing:
Thanks for the book idea, Margaret. And, the direct link so I don’t have too many choices in the self help section.