Whenever two or more people interact, an exchange of information naturally occurs. Our personal energy fields lean in with curiosity to see what can be found. Every day we communicate on some level with those around us. What a great time to check in with yourself and practice self-awareness. What is your contribution to the energy exchange?
Three types of basic energetic exchanges come to play during personal communications; neutral, energizing, and draining. When we’re neutral, we are able to look at, feel, and respond to others without a ripple in our energy field. During a draining exchange, a subtle or not so subtle level of aggression may emerge in the form of resistance, conflict, and/or rigidity. At energizing, we remain curious, authentic, and engaged.
During your next conversation, it may be fun to see where you are. Does your end of the exchange leave you feeling neutral, energized, or drained? Pay attention to the words you use, the actions you take, and your own feelings as the interaction progresses. If the other person’s energy field is draining, are you able to maintain your field at energized? Stay curious and notice yourself without judgment. Then smile and say, “That was fun!”
Live Lights On!
Cathy & Gary Hawk
I am working in an organisation which has a culture which I find very draining and in particular one of the Directors who I believe is a very insecure person and as a result tends to paranoia when questioned about why we do things in certain ways. I feel I can’t test my understanding about anything without either being criticised for not knowing the answer already or being accused of criticising. I would say I’m a fairly sophisticated operator in terms of having an understanding of NLP principles but with this person and in this organisation I am stuck for ideas on what to because the negative response I get makes me feel incompetent and impacts my confidence. Any suggestions on how I can work more effectively with the individual in question? Thanks
Cheryl,
When working with difficult and energy draining individuals, the only thing you have control over is your own thoughts. You can’t control how they communicate and manage but you can have some influence by the energy you bring to the conversation. Like energy attracts like energy – which is what you experience when a paranoid, insecure person makes you feel paranoid and insecure. In my opinion, to begin to create the work environment you envision, your number one job is to control and monitor you own personal energy field – primarily your thoughts. My suggestion is to take a few moments and set your intention before every conversation with this person. Bring your most confident and alive energy into the room with you. This will ground you and allow you be fully present and engaged in the conversation so you can more easily shift your thoughts when you get a negative response. What is the energetic connection you want to have in the conversation? What is the level of consciousness and confidence you want to feel and exhibit? Hope this is helpful.